Alphabet dates have become the new favourite way for couples to break out of the rinse‑and‑repeat routine. And its concept is refreshingly easy! Say hello to a simple, a bit silly, and surprisingly good at bringing back that early‑days spark way to bring back some romance and together time into your relationship.
So, what’s this all about then?
Alphabet dates are exactly what they sound like: a series of dates inspired by each letter from A to Z. No complicated rules, no Pinterest‑level planning (unless you want to, of course, don’t let us stop you), just a fun framework that nudges you and your partner into doing things you wouldn’t normally pick. And that’s part of the appeal! Most of us fall into relationship habits without realising it – which isn’t a bad thing necessarily, as habits can be good! But maybe not rotating the same restaurants, the same sofa evenings, the same conversations about being too tired to think of anything better. Or not going on dates at all.
An alphabet gives you structure. You simply move on to the next letter and let it guide you. And how you do it is entirely up to you, too! You can split the letters – you’re taking one half, your partner the other – or make it a challenge to get as creative as possible without blowing a budget. Skip some you don’t like. Repeat others. You make your own rules!
What is it that makes them so popular?
There’s also a bit of psychology behind why this system work so well. Doing something novel together shifts you out of autopilot and into a more connected state. When you try something new, even if it’s tiny, like visiting a museum you’ve always walked past or ordering a dish you’d usually skip, your brain lights up in ways that strengthen bonding. Simply said: you enjoy each other more when you’re doing something fresh.
Another upside is how it removes decision fatigue, which quietly kills many date nights. Instead of arguing about what you fancy or waiting for someone to be “in the mood” to plan, you’ve already got a direction. The letter does all the heavy lifting, and that turns planning into play rather than admin.
It also works beautifully for long‑distance couples: you can still pick a letter and create your own versions from wherever you are, be that matching recipes, watching the same film, or doing parallel activities.
How do you choose your ideas?
Once you start brainstorming, the alphabet turns into a surprisingly generous prompt. “A” might be an arcade night or an amble around an animal sanctuary. “B” could be bowling, a new bakery, or a bike ride along a route you’ve never bothered with. “C” swings from comedy clubs to a shared chai tea on the couch, to a chaotic cooking sessions where you pick a random recipe and hope for the best.
The aim isn’t to be clever – again, unless you want to be! But it’s more to try things you’d normally scroll past because they’re “not really your thing”. Odd detours are often way better than your normal routine, you’ll see!
As you move through the alphabet, you build a little archive of shared experiments. “H” might end up being a home spa night after a brutal week. “M” could be mini golf or making a mess with clay. “T” might tempt you into a tiny theatre production instead of the same chain restaurant you default to. Even the awkward letters become inside jokes — “X” doesn’t need to be elaborate; it can be as simple as exploring somewhere unknown or finding something with “x” in the name. Don’t be too strict, have fun with it!
Don’t let them overwhelm you
However, be careful not to turn them into homework. Set a pace that suits real life. Weekly sounds adorable until the first overtime shift hits or one of you is knocked out by a cold. Monthly works for most couples because it creates anticipation without becoming another chore. Agree on a loose budget too, so one person isn’t quietly panicking while the other plans a hot‑air balloon for “H”. A shared note on your phone helps keep ideas flowing when you spot something interesting mid‑week.It also helps to build in home‑based options. Some letters lend themselves to cosy nights anyway, like “J” for jigsaw, “L” for learning a new skill on YouTube, “P” for painting while you drink something cheerful. Take the pressure off busy seasons. And the less you treat the alphabet as a mission, the more natural it feels. The point is to keep curiosity alive!